Ever find yourself thinking about why all of a sudden there are so many trans people’s camera roll full of selfies? Well, as it turns out the beginning of transition is a rollercoaster of little, irreversible moments that are both personal and universal. From testing out new voices to the rapture of choosing the ideal name, these processes forge the path in ways that transcend the surface level.
For everyone going into transition or accompanying someone who is having an idea of what to anticipate can make the entire process not quite so frightening and a whole lot more validating. What follows is a glimpse into the most haunting, offbeat, and empowering moments that signal the beginning of a transition, directly from lived experience of the community and practitioner observation.
1. The Great Name Quest
For some, the initial step in being themselves is selecting a new name. It’s never as straightforward as taking the first that strikes them imagine hours (or weeks) of perusing lists of names, practicing sounds, and getting opinions from friends. As one Reddit commenter succinctly expressed, “Sorting through thousands of names to finally choose the one that is right for the new you.” This isn’t about labels it’s about discovering a name that feels like home. And although it may feel overwhelming, it’s also an opportunity to redefine identity on your own terms. Tackling the name can feel like gaining a new level of self-assurance.
2. Voice Discovery: Beyond Pitch
Discovering new voices is as scientific as it is art. Trans people generally find themselves trying out phenomenally subtle changes in tone, resonance, and inflection to determine what feels most natural. As the Seattle Voice Lab tells us, “The voice is a beautifully sensitive and responsive instrument, able to produce a vast palette of sound and expression.” Voice training isn’t exactly about being able to sing an accurate pitch it’s about being able to control the body’s cavities for resonance, doing daily practice exercises, and occasionally humming into a straw in order to develop vocal endurance. As Renée Yoxon, successful voice coach, showed, “The resonance lesson was the biggest ‘aha’ for me, especially when I realized that I already know how to teach most of this because teaching singing is ALL about shaping resonance!” It’s a fun, sometimes silly, but always empowering process.
3. The Selfie Renaissance
Suddenly, selfies are a part of our everyday routine. It’s the first time for the majority of them that they’ve ever been so calm to sit for their own photo, even if that does involve examining every detail to death. As one resident acknowledged, “Taking lots and lots of selfies and scrutinizing all of your flaws over and over again.” While it may be tempting to become fixated on perceived flaws, these photos are something more than narcissism something more than a pictorial document of self-improvement and self-acceptance. Every photo is a celebratory toast to change, to becoming, and to growing confidence.
4. The Wardrobe Whirlwind
Buying new clothes is exhilarating and overwhelming. It’s hard to resist going out and buying “5 million femme clothes at Goodwill,” but also strong is the knowledge that fashion is not just about getting into a different gender box. Most people at the beginning are erasing half of their new closet when they discover what feels good. This experimentation is all part of the process and frustration of creating a new identity. In the end, it’s about finding parts that make you smile and feel most you.
5. Coming Out: The Rollercoaster of Reactions
Informing friends, family, or co-workers is thrilling and intimidating. It’s at times telling you of the “most amazing, fantastic thing in your life and really NOBODY wants you to talk about it.” Sometimes it’s a practical conversation to apprise you of coming out to your parent due to needing to purchase a bra. Planned Parenthood recommends, “Coming out is a personal decision.” You ought to be able to come out however feels safest for you. No matter what kind of responses are received, whether they are positive, uncomfortable, or in between, having support can mean the world.
6. Bodily Surprises and Small Victories
Transition is full of surprising surprises, from the minute changes in one’s body to discovering new tricks of body care. For some, it’s the initial experience of the first time their chest looks different in the mirror; for others, it’s the thrill of experimenting with makeup or finding solutions. These things seem small, but they are deeply personal victories. Every change no matter how tiny can be a powerful affirmation that you’re moving in the right direction.
7. Riding Out the Uncertainty and Choosing Happiness
In spite of all the fuss, there’s always fear of doing it wrong. As one Redditor cut it down to, “Always wondering you made the wrong decision, even though you’re happier now, cause life just got hard mode.” But, as a couple of hundred voices across the community reassure us, if you’re happier, you’re doing it right.
Transitioning isn’t perfect experiencing it is learning to love honesty, honoring the progress, and being wholly okay with uncertainty along the way. To begin a transition is a culmination of giant moments and tiny, intensely personal ones. Though the journey itself belongs to each person, those first experiences tormented by error, and by self-invention are what claim the journey yours alone. Remember: every cringeworthy selfie, every brainstorm of names, and every brave conversation is one step closer to living more authentically. And that, in and of itself, is worth celebrating.
