Who is a hero? Sometimes the uniformed hero, sometimes the smiling neighbor, and sometimes the modest leader who issues an order that is a call to action to a whole community. The Midtown Manhattan Park Avenue mass shooting shattered lives and caused the city to cry, but also uncovered the heroism, the humanness, and the legacy of three great New Yorkers: Didarul Islam, Wesley LePatner, and Aland Etienne. Their loss narratives are not loss narratives in themselves they are narratives of the power of community, of hope, and of resilience.
1. Didarul Islam: A Life of Piety and Final Sacrifice
Didarul Islam’s path led him from Bangladesh to the center of New York City, where he was an NYPD officer for three and a half years. Islam was off duty but still in uniform during the evening of the shooting and performed a security detail at the Park Avenue office building. He had departed his pregnant wife and two young children. As New York Police Commissioner Jessica Tisch so eloquently put it, “He put himself in harm’s way, he made the ultimate sacrifice – shot in cold blood, wearing a uniform that represented the commitment that he made to this city. He died as he lived, a hero.” Mayor Eric Adams stated much the same, “He was saving lives. He was keeping New Yorkers safe. He represents what this city is all about.” He is a true New Yorker, and not merely in some other uniform he has had. Neighbours described Islam as “a pillar in his mainly Bangladeshi community” and “a very good person,” whose piety and largesse were the very fabric of the social fabric of his community.
His cousin, Muhammad Mainul Islam, told, “He is very nice guy, and his behavior is very good.” I miss him so much. The city presented Islam with a “guard of honor” as his body was wheeled out of the hospital, a gesture that demonstrated the city’s collective sadness and appreciation. Islam’s action is evidence that heroism is not necessarily about din, but in unselfish devotion to duty and the willingness to serve others at the expense of his own self.
2. Wesley LePatner: Leadership, Legacy, and Community Impact
Blackstone’s senior managing director and CEO of Blackstone Real Estate Income Trust, Wesley LePatner, remembered her as intelligent, kind, and generous at heart. She was a Yale graduate and a working woman in the finance field who had gained respect not just for being intelligent but for also being compassionate and forward-thinking. Blackstone has characterized her as a person who “embodied the best of Blackstone” and whose death creates “an enormous, gaping hole in our hearts that never will be filled, but we will continue the incredible legacy Wesley built.” LePatner’s influence extended far beyond what she accomplished in business.
She served on philanthropic organizations like The Metropolitan Museum of Art and United Jewish Appeal Federation of New York. The Heschel School that her daughter had attended remembered her as “a uniquely brilliant and humble leader and parent, full of wisdom, empathy, vision, and appreciation.” LePatner, being a mentor and a role model, infused young women and men with the reality that leadership is all about an equal measure of compassion and achievement. In her own words, “You can be kinder to yourself when things don’t go according to plan or when you need to be working at seven o’clock because you’ve made the choice to come home earlier.” Her life is a testament to the lasting impact one individual can have on institutions and thousands of lives.
3. Aland Etienne: The Essential, Unsung Protector
Diligent security officer Aland Etienne was one of the victims whose routine acts of vigilance always went unnoticed too late. His union, 32BJ SEIU, stated: “When a security officer puts on their uniform, they put their life on the line. Their contribution to our city is priceless, yet all too often overlooked. Aland Etienne is a New York hero.” We will never recall him as such. Etienne’s work ethic was unshakable, and his passing is highly lamented by his co-workers and the thousands of building service workers that he represented. Park Avenue, the building owner, referred to him as “a popular lobby security guard,” a brief remark that says much of respect and fondness he evoked.
4. Coping with Grief and Trauma: What heals us
After such violence, shock, grief, anger, and even numbness cannot be helped. The American Psychological Association dictates that “it is normal for people to have a range of emotions following such a traumatic event.” Family members, friends, and community can buffer the emotional shock and make the transformation wrought by tragedy tolerable. Professionals invite us to speak about your emotions, find support, and respect your emotions reminding us that “seeking support and care can be reassuring and comforting.” Take good care of yourself: eat, sleep, and do what feels nurturing to you. “Efforts toward balance make you stronger and allow for greater health about yourself and the world around you,” quotes the APA’s guidance on how to cope after a shooting. Professional support can be accessed to assist those who are not managing to cope, and calling is an option if functioning on a daily basis hurts.
5. Increasing Community Resilience and Solidarity
Communities mend not only with the mending of individuals, but with coming together in shared solidarity. Following mass violence, formal and informal support mechanisms are needed. And one of the survivors of mass violence had instructed me, “If you deny my experience, you deny my existence.” Community agencies, the Aurora Strong Resilience Center and the Resiliency Center of Newtown, offer group therapy, wellness classes, and outreach services to help survivors and families heal from their loss and regain a sense of safety they can again find.
Donations, memorials, and support groups keep victims’ memories and group resilience alive as well. The 9/11 Memorial & Museum and Oklahoma City National Memorial Foundation are demonstrations of how memory and learning can make the tragedy an object of solidarity and strength.
6. Keeping the Everyday Heroes Among Us in Mind
Didarul Islam, Wesley LePatner, and Aland Etienne’s lives show us that heroism is not the extraordinary it is ubiquitous in the people who come, get the job done with integrity, and care for one another. Their lives challenge us to notice and pay tribute to the in-exhaust efforts of first responders, security officials, and community organizers whose work so frequently goes unnoted. As union organizer Manny Pastreich once put it, “Their contributions to our city are essential, though often unappreciated.”
During difficult times, the glimmer of daily heroism will see us through. Memories of those who lost their lives in Midtown will continue to inspire acts of courage, kindness, and solidarity throughout New York and the world.
